I stole this joke from my friend Jack, just because it's about a poor French conductor. Shoot, I would have married the poor guy... Many years ago in the country of France there was this poor conductor who had a route on a train. He traveled this route many times and soon a wealthy young lady is getting on and eventually starts sitting in the seat right behind him. They start to talk and they fall in love. One day the poor conductor asks the rich lady to marry him. The rich lady said that she can't possibly marry him because he simply doesn't have enough money. So he asks the rich lady to give him just 3 years to get enough money and she agrees...
So, for 3 long years the poor conductor doesn't eat breakfast. He saved all the money that he would spend on food for breakfast. when finally the 3 years was up, He asked the rich lady to marry him again, and she said that he still doesn't have enough money. So, again he asks her to wait 3 more years.
For the next 3 years, the poor conductor doesn't eat breakfast or lunch and saved all the money he would have spent on breakfast and lunch. After these 3 years were up, he asks her to marry him and again she declines because he just doesn't have enough money for her.
So he mutilated her and went to jail. After his trial was over and he was waiting to be electrocuted, the prison guard comes in a says that this was to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. The poor conductor asked for a good old American Thanksgiving meal with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, a piece of pumpkin pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar; and so he ate his turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and ate the piece of pumpkin pie, drank his cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The next morning, the prison guard came to take him to be electrocuted, but when they flipped the switch nothing happened!
They took the prisoner back to the cell and checked the electric chair and found nothing wrong. That night the Prison guard came back and said that this was going to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. So the poor conductor said that he wanted Roast beef, corn, mashed potatoes, a piece of apple pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. So he ate the roast beef, the corn, and the mashed potatoes. He ate the apple pie, drank the cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar.
The following morning, the prison guard came to take him away to the electric chair. After he was put in they flipped the switch and nothing happened again. So they took him back to his cell to figure out what happened and nothing was wrong with the chair.
That night the prison guard came to see what he wanted to eat for his last meal on earth, and the prisoner said thathe wanted breakfast for his last meal. So he had a huge stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, bacon, and sausage, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. And so he ate the hug stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, bacon and sausage, drank the coffee and smoked the cigar.
The next morning he went to the electric chair and they flipped the switch and nothing happened. By this time the prison guards were totally boggled and confused. And so the guy in the chair said 'I tried to tell you that I'm a poor conductor.' Sorry, guys... I had to...